Dating parents autistic children

20-Mar-2016 18:40

A single mom of an autistic child for several years now, I’ve seen that when relationships fall apart, we begin by looking outside ourselves for the external causes to blame.

No matter what the circumstance, illness, disability, death are the certainties of a full life.

I say this because it's fairly typical that there is one parent doing more of the advocacy, work, and research than the other as part of the division of labor.

This of course is not always the case, but for the sake of argument and statistics, it is usually the mother who takes on the bulk of such work.

We work tediously and patiently, hoping that attitudes will change, services will become better and our children will be included in all facets of society.

We hope that our partners will continue the journey along with us.

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Yet, when my own marriage ended, I couldn’t help but wonder if any of those ideas behind the eighty per-cent divorce rates and autism might in some way be true.

This creates reasons to research autism in order to eradicate it.

As a result, it is one more reason added to an exhaustive list of why we must cure and change the autistic child as quickly as possible.

We are just beginning to learn about the accommodations autistic people need in order to contribute as autistic people (as opposed to having to change in order to become normal for normal's sake -- this no longer happens with many other of the disabilities).

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There is more stress when parents have to fight to get kids into schools, obtain financial support, acquire respite help, augmentative communication devices, and social skills.

We make vows for better or for worse, even if most of us want the "better." Frequent divorce seems to reflect the advent of the re-start button -- an impatient, quickly gratified culture with many options at our fingertips, and a waning attention span.